#NewlySingleGirlProblems

Right after the breakup happened, one of my friends and I came up with “the eight phases of a break up” 

Here is what we came up with 

The Eight Phases of the Break-Up

• Phase one – you can eat whatever you want and mope around.
• Phase two – you limit your carb intake and eat a lot of salad.  But you can still eat hangover french fries.  Strictly water and iced coffee.
• Phase three – with your new body you have to go do retail therapy.
• Phase four – A few weeks in, you get your hair cut and died.  This is not a break up hair-do, that happens immediately following the break-up, in phase one.  And everyone judges you.  
• Phase five – involve yourself in something that takes away from thinking about the ex-boyfriend.  Like recruitment.  Or blogging.  Or knitting.  
• Phase six – Rebound time!  Co-workers, President of Fraternities, random guys in bars, nbd.  
• Phase seven – Whenever you don’t have something to do, go to the gym.  Make sure you look cute just in case you do run into your ex.  
• Phase eight:
  • Get back together with ex who notices how fine you look at the gym in your sneakers
  • Move on

*Make sure you always look good when you’re put in public.  This does not apply to phase one.  

Okay, so maybe I’m not truly ”newly single girl”. But I sure have the “problems”. Technically, I am 6 months out (of a 2 year relationship).  According to Charlotte York, “It takes half the amount of time you dated someone to get over them”, therefore, I have 6 months to go.  

Emotionally, I am probably only at the 3 month point.  Of course, there is a back story to that but I won’t make you suffer through it just yet.  The quick version of it: he told me he loved me after three months of being broken up, he started dating a new girl a week later and we still “see” each other about once a week.  If that doesn’t leave you a little screwed up, I’m quite sure what will.

The purpose of this blog is for me to get over him in 6 months or less.  Another, is that I can vent all that I want and my friend won’t get annoyed with me. Hopefully, after getting everything out, I’ll feel like I’ve had my “closure” (btw: there was NO closure).

To be honest, I have no idea exactly what I am going to write but I’m just going to go with it. One of my friends encouraged me to do this instead of online dating and I’m sure this will save me my dignity.  #newlysinglegirlproblems